I am impressed by the level of intelligence and emotional intuition balanced so well in this article. I am struggling to find answers for the severe case of DID I have. I have nearly constant pain and seizures, and have done so for 8 years now. I am definitely exerting a superhuman effort to heal myself. I wish there were some other way. I have so little ability to function, so little time when I can. My life was stolen from me ages 0-6 by a compulsive sadist that had me during those ages. I am 47 and still have never truly lived.
I am exhausted from my efforts to redefine my reality in a way that allows functioning. The constant and agonizing pain that I am in seems to be unusual (most DID simply have personalities) and I can find no alleviating method or cure. It is simply an endurance contest. Can I survive another day, or minute or second, is the question of my existence unfortunately most of the time. I believe I will have a good addition to the world view if I can, and so I try, very hard to go on. I am just exhausted. Pain is tiring. Why did I have to get so much physical pain? I hate it. But my brain remembers it so clearly that it feels like it is all happening again. Of course I am on disability so I can't afford any good EMT or therapy.
There are actually no DID therapists in San Francisco that accept Medical!! Friends are better but easily exhausted. I am brilliant but you can't think your way out of a hole this deep. Still, it was a comfort to read an article from someone that has balanced heart and head. That is the goal for us all. Now if we could just get the rest of the world to follow suit maybe we could begin to create a society that wouldn't be as fertile for abuse.